mattix3 on Xanga

Still, I"m convinced.. wondering
"What if.."
Is the worst thing there is.

♥x vintage♥

9:53 AM - email it

mattix3
read my profile sign my guestbook Name: <3 M a t t i Metro: Birthday: 5/3/1989 Gender: Female Interests: Expertise: Message: message me Website: visit my website Yahoo: Member Since: 6/4/2005

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Wednesday, November 16, 2005

i love jenny !! she is the best !!

everything is so comfusing... i dont understand things anymore, && i dont think im suppost too understand anything.. things have been alright lately.. me && jenny r starting to be able to hang out more, band is over && lol her grades are getting better,but me && school, we keep getting worse.. school sucks..my grades are horrible !!&& im working on it but ughh !! ... me && pat lol, i dont know what we are anymore, seems we keep getting further && further apart.. && idk anymore, i do love pat, very very much.. it just seems like nothing is right anymore, everything between us sucks.. mostly because of me.. but i guess were trying to fix it.. i just i miss the old matti && pat... everyone thinking were sooooo cute .. :-\ now all people can say to us is how are you guys, you guys alright... ?are yall together, i miss the old way we ust to be, the way we were back in like skating wrink years lol, long time ago, when we first met... everything was perfect, we were sooo sweet to each other, everything we did was romantic, we would of never even thought about cussing @ one another, because it would of been a sin... if we even began to argue, we were both worried to death.. when we kissed it was like the sky had been lit up with fireworks.. holding hands was the most amazing feeling ever... now, when we kiss its just weird, holding hands is an odd feeling, nothing is right, nothing is how it should be .. i just wish we could go back to lol 7th grade && start all over, i would have done so many things differently.. i just i dont know.. im ready to be happy with him again, were laying next to him in bed, talking about stuff is just so much fun ... i just hope everything turns out for the better, i really do love pat.. <|33

My Love !! on a brighter note .. me && jenny have had some good times lately lol, we went to toys r us the other day lol omg !! it was SO much fun ! lol i love her soo much, without her sometimes.. idk where i would be lol .. alone :-\ but she is my everything !! lol, my best friend, jenny .. has truely given me a new meaning to best friend.. she is there for me no matter what .. && she is just, amazing.. i thank her for everything && i love her soo soo soo much .. <33

Toys - R- Us pics !!

well my loves... keep in touch !!!

do i have to spell it out for you
or scream it in your face
I LOVE YOU

Matti <3

7:06 PM - 11 views - 12 eprops - 8 comments - email it

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

We we're given two legs to walk,
Two hands to hold,
two ears to listen,
two eyes to see
but why only one heart?
Because the other one
was given to someone else for us to find

He said he would stay on the phone
until she stopped talking && fell asleep...
when she woke up she heard him say
"good morning...
did you know you have deep conversations in your sleep..
&& in case you didn't know...
I Love YouToo..."

GiRL: you remind me of the waves..
BOY: how's that?
GiRL: look at the wave...see how it starts out far away and seems really small, soft, and gentle?
BOY: yeah?
GiRL: that's how it is with you. you're always far away from me. and you always seem so small, so nice, so gentle from a distace. now look at the wave. see how it's getting bigger and bigger.. see how more dangerous it looks?
BOY: yeah...?
GiRL: it's still you. you slowly find your way to get closer and closer to me. and the closer you get, the more it looks like you're going to hurt me. now see the wave? it crashed onto the shore. did you see it?
BOY: yeah, i saw it.
GiRL: that's how it always ends up. i'll sit there and see you from a distance and think that you look so nice, so calm.. and then watch you get closer and closer.. knowing the closer you get, the more you could hurt me. but i still stand there letting you get closer and closer and closer.. and then all of a sudden: there you are. right in front of me. you crash into me, you knock me down. and then you're gone.
BOY: but... i'll promise i'll never knock you down again..
GiRL: don't even worry about it. i'm not standing on your shore anymore

do i have to spell it out for you
or scream it in your face
I LOVE YOU

im not broken
ohh no ;; im just slightly damaged

theres always that time
in everyones life
where they just dont know
what to do anymore

why do i keep dreaming up stuff
that i know
will never happen

& i just want to be

with you <3

9:02 PM - 8 views - 8 eprops - 3 comments - email it

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

SO THERE'Sz THiS BOY...
...& HE KiNDA HAS MY HEART.

He never ever left my side--->
even though we're miles
apart... i will love him forever
and always, he is always in
my heart ___

i guess im just not good enough for you.

i carry this piece of

you with me . . <|3

sometimes things have to fall apart,
          to make you realize just how much
          you need them to fall back together.

people ask me if i believe in forever - -
and i can't help but sit back && laugh `
because with the way my life is going
i don't even believe in tomorrow __ <3

Looking back on all those years.. all the smiles,
all the tears.. i never want those memories to f a d e . . .

I hate myself.. the way I look
The way my mind works
And the way nothing I say comes out right.
The way I walk, the way I act ...
The way I dress myself up
&& how God damn selfish I can be

i miss that smile. God, i miss that smile.
the sad part is, your smile isnt the only
one i am missing. i miss m y o w n--
the one that is there when yours is<33

I should have held on tight; I
never should have let you go

&& she saves his voicemail
so whenever shes lonely<33
she can hear his voice

i want to be holding onto you the way
that i used to just like it was before the
world rolled in between us.. <|3

i wonder if you'll ever
notice how much
i love you!

in this world
only
you
&&
me

How can i stare in your eyes
and not think about
being with you.

Nothing will ever stop me from loving you <33



I WANT A GUY. . . .
who would move the hair away from my eyes
and then kiss me.
hold my hand in line at the mall and
make all the girls jealous.
someone who would think i was beautiful
if i dressed so trashy it was classy.
someone who would
sing to me at random moments.
who would let me
sleep on his chest.
who knows the right things to say and do
at the right times.
a boy who would beat the crap out of someone
if they called me a bitch.
i want someone who would call me 3 times a day
if he went away.
he would apologize for calling too much and
no matter how many times i tell him its okay,
he still does it and
i dont get sick of it.
someone who would let me gossip to him and
would just smile and agree with
everything i said.
he would throw stuffed animals at me when i acted dumb
and then dog pile on me and kiss me a millon times
we would bet kisses on who could beat who on a
playstations game thats
a millon years old.
and someone who would make fun of me
just to make me laugh
he would surprise me with
25 cent rings
and we would have contest of
how far we could spit our gum.
he would take me to the park and
put his hands around my waist and
give me big bear hugs all the time.
someone who would kiss my neck
just to have a reason to tell me how much
he likes my new perfume
and at night we would
dance in our pajamas
and we'd always take pictures
in photo booths..
he would never turn down a trip to
the boardwalk
and we'd play tag
on the beach.
he would tell all his friends about me and
smile when he did it.
we would sit on the floor and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
and we'd make out in the
pouring rain.
he would tell me when
he didnt think something looked good and
i wouldnt mind.
he would TRY to teach me how to play the guitar
but we'd just end up laughing at eachother.
he would run his fingers through my hair
even if it was dirty.
he would share lollipops with me and
get along with all of my friends.
he would never be afraid to say
"i love you" in front of his friends
and we would argue about silly things with me
then make up.
i want a boy
who would take me to target to
just make fun of some of the stuff there.
we would kiss at midnight on new years
and make funny faces at each other
when we're on the phone.
i want a boy who would
count stars with me
and be friends with my family.
iwant someone who would stay home with me
on a friday night just to help me make a dinner
and watch moives together under the same blanket
and squirt water guns at eachother in the house.
someone who would tell me
im beautiful but not too often ..
someone who would look me in the eye and
tell me something serious that was also funny
and make me promise not to laugh.
someone who would make me laugh
like no one else could.
someone who would hold me closer than normal
when im sick,
and would play with my hair.
we would buy tons of disposible cameras
and take lots of pictures.
but mostly..
i want someone who would be my best friend
and would never lie to me or break my heart . . .





Even when you hope is gone,

move along,

just to make it through<33

2:56 PM - 5 views - 8 eprops - 5 comments - email it

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

So MuCh In LoVe <33

i feel like i owe you
- E V E R Y T H I N G -
because you were there when i had
- N O T H I N G -

I don't know what to say to
you anymore..Anything I say
just isn't enough to make you
realize that I really do need you

who cares what they say?
i fucking love you

ii KN0W iT SEEMS LiKE i'M THiS STR0NG PERS0N
WH0 CAN GET THR0UGH ANYTHiNG, BUT iNSiDE
i'M FRAGiLE. i'VE HAD S0 MANY THiNGS THR0WN AT
ME & EACH 0NE HAS 0NLY MADE ME CRACK. WHAT
i'M AFRAiD 0F iS SHATTERiNG..<|3

...& i lost the one thing
that was worth fighting
for..

..& i just cant wait until the day i hear
a happy love song on the radio and
don't wanna smash the damn thing.

when you find a glimmer of happiness in this
world, there's always someone who wants
to d e s t r o y i t

I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and
Then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe
That there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again..